Separation can be one of life’s more challenging transitions — and when children are involved, the decisions can feel even more delicate. It’s a time filled with change, big emotions, and a strong desire to make sure your child feels secure and supported. While the road ahead may feel uncertain, many families find a new rhythm, and with the right guidance, you can too.
When trying to work out what arrangements should be put in place for your child following separation, thought should be given to where the child will primarily live and when, where and how that child will spend time with the other parent during the week, on weekends, during school holidays and on special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Consideration should also be given to whether both parents are able to consult with one another to make decisions jointly in relation to the child’s welfare. The legal term for being able to do that is equal shared parental responsibility.
In this post, we’ll explore some of the key considerations around living arrangements after separation. We’ll look at options like parenting plans and formal agreements, outline the legal steps you may need to take, and most importantly, discuss how to keep your child’s well-being front and centre.
Making calm, thoughtful choices during such an emotional time isn’t always easy, but choosing to lead with care, cooperation, and your child’s best interests at heart can make all the difference.
What Are Living Arrangements?
Living arrangements refer to the practical decisions about where your child will live after separation, who they’ll live with, and how their time will be shared between both parents. These arrangements can be as unique as the families making them, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution — what matters most is finding an approach that supports your child’s needs and sense of stability.
Some families choose a week-about arrangement, where the child spends one week with each parent in turn. Others might agree that the child lives primarily with one parent and spends every second weekend and one midweek night with the other. In some cases, school holidays might be divided between parents to allow for extended time together.
The goal is always to create a plan that is fair, practical, and, most importantly, in the best interests of the child.
How Parents Can Agree (Without Going to Court)
For many families, reaching an agreement about living arrangements can happen without going through the court system. One of the most common and constructive ways to do this is by creating a Parenting Plan — a written agreement that outlines things like where your child will live, how much time they’ll spend with each parent, and how major decisions will be made.
A Parenting Plan is not legally binding, but it can help create structure and reduce confusion, especially when everyone is clear on expectations.
Mediation is often the first step in this process. It allows both parents to sit down, with the help of a neutral third party, and talk through their concerns and goals. This process is part of Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), which is designed to help parents reach an agreement in a calm, supportive environment.
Unless the matter is urgent or if there are issues of child abuse or family violence, you must try to mediate with an accredited FDR practitioner before applying to the Family Court for parenting orders.
When You Need Legal Help (Going to Court)
When both parents agree on a parenting plan, they can apply to get it in writing through the Family Court. This can be achieved through an Application for Consent Orders or by having a Parenting Plan signed. While not legally binding, this document can be helpful in court to get things back on track if an agreement dissolves.
While many separated parents can agree on living arrangements through mediation or a Parenting Plan, there are situations where legal intervention becomes necessary.
You may need to go to court if:
- There are concerns about your child’s safety, such as family violence, neglect, or abuse
- One parent is not engaging in mediation or refuses to reach an agreement
- The existing arrangements have broken down and no longer serve the child’s best interests
- There are serious disputes about important issues like schooling, relocation, or medical decisions
In these cases, applying to the Family Court for Parenting Orders may be the next step. A judge will make legally binding decisions around where the child will live, how time is shared, and other important matters, with the highest priority being what’s in the child’s best interests.
This process can be emotionally difficult and take time, which is why it’s often a last resort after all other avenues have been explored. But when it’s necessary — especially to protect a child’s wellbeing — the court can provide clear, enforceable guidance.
The Court will give thought to the benefit of having a meaningful relationship with both parents so long as the child is protected from physical or psychological harm and from being subjected to, or exposed to, abuse, neglect or family violence.
In addition, the Family Law Act identifies specific things that the Court must also take into account, including:
- The child’s own wishes
- Their level of maturity
- How close the relationship is between the child and each parent
- The parents’ capacity to provide for their child.
Equal Shared Parental Responsibility – What It Really Means
Many parents hear the term equal shared parental responsibility and assume it means children must spend exactly half their time with each parent, but that’s not the case.
Equal shared parental responsibility is about making major decisions together — things like where your child goes to school, their medical care, religious upbringing, or other important long-term choices. It means both parents share the responsibility for guiding and supporting their child, even if the child lives primarily with one parent.
It does not mean that time must be split 50/50. The time a child spends with each parent depends on what works best for them, taking into account their age, needs, routines, and the practical realities of each family.
This arrangement helps ensure both parents stay involved in the big picture of their child’s life, even if day-to-day care looks different.
If you’re unsure, it’s okay to ask a lawyer for help.
There is no right or wrong approach to working out your child’s living arrangements after you and your partner have separated. Whether you’re just beginning this journey or are partway through, we aim to provide clarity and compassion as you make decisions that shape your child’s future.
If you have any queries concerning your family law parenting issues, please contact our Family Law Lawyer team.
